Exercise 3: Inappropriate fantasy
Have you recently had a fantasy about a minor? If you have, then without thinking about it in too much detail, work through these questions one at a time and see if these help you think about your fantasies differently.
- Where is this fantasy set?
- What are you doing there?
- Who else is there? What are they doing there?
What this fantasy says about you
- What role does this fantasy place you in?
- How does this fantasy compare to the type of person you are generally?
- How does this fantasy compare to the type of person you want to be?
- How does the fantasy of the content compare to real life?
What this fantasy says about how you view others
- How do you treat the people in the fantasy?
- How do they treat you?
- What if the roles were switched?
What this fantasy says about your view of the world
- What sort of world would it be if you or other people were able to act on this fantasy?
- Is this really the type of world you would like to live in?
- What is the likelihood of your fantasy ‘expectations’ being met and would you want them to be met?
- What would your close friends and family feel about this fantasy? What would they think?
- How would you feel if your son or your daughter acted out this fantasy with another adult?
Fantasy management
So you have identified which of your sexual fantasies are inappropriate. But how do you stop having them?
For some people this will be easy, but for others it will take time, hard work, a lot of willpower and heaps of self-control. You are not alone if you feel it is too hard to control these fantasies, but YOU ARE IN CONTROL of your thoughts and feelings and YOU CAN MAKE A CHOICE as to how much attention you choose to give to them.
You can ask for help by calling the Ça suffit helpline at 1-844-654-3111.
Many individuals use fantasy management techniques to help stop having these harmful sexual fantasies.
